- Every morning we begin our class with a zen meditation that helps the kids learn to focus on peace and quiet for a moment. Sometimes, I feel as though this meditation is helping me more than the kids! This is probably because I've been quite stressed lately and re-training myself to find moments of relaxation and peace around me in Tokyo. (Yes, even in a big city, there are plenty of moments that inspire peace, reflection and quiet).
The first of such moments is my walk home from graduate school on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Since I have night class from 6 - 9 PM I don't normally get back to my end of the Ikebukuro line until around 10 PM. At this time there are a lot of people heading out of the city and the train can be sometimes packed to the gills. People with claustrophobia beware - this means being pressed up to others in a way that means you probably can smell their hair, practically (or fully) taste their cologne or perfume, and if you're not Japanese...get some occasional, casual stares or giggles from some kids or high schoolers (Which is quite normal, I can assure you. Three high school guys were fighting behind me one evening over who should say something to me...because they thought I obviously didn't understand Japanese they just kept chatting about what they should say to me...except I was right in front of them...so that was interesting. Unfortunately I don't speak enough Japanese to understand all the things they were thinking of saying, but I distinctly heard one say they should ask me on a date...Ha! I awaited a silly English dialogue but it never came! Guess they were just talking crap to each other to pass the time.).
Last night I was on said crowded train. I could not reach a handle above me, as they were all taken and many people therefore had to balance to the best of their ability as the Semi Express Train rocked back and forth along the tracks. Sometimes this balancing can become quite difficult when you are pressed up against others in the crowded train, so I like to just hope that the conductor never has to apply the emergency brakes for any reason because I can only imagine the unpleasantness of that situation...
By the end of this train ride my feet generally hurt because I've been using them to press my toes into my shoes (to help maintain balance) and I am very thankful for the burst of fresh air as I step out onto the platform and head for the North Exit of my Station. It's a pretty nice Station, with several stores, restaurants and large shopping centers around it. As I walk towards our little apartment it becomes progressively (and rapidly) more residential, and as we live in Saitama on the edge of Tokyo, I suppose this are would be technically classified as Sub-Urban (thought it's admittedly more Urban than anything else). What is particularly nice about this area, though, is that there are a lot of places designed to let people relax and unwind (like really nice parks, which are a blessing in Tokyo). As I'm from the countryside I can't tell you how much a stroll through the neighborhood park helps me to feel less overwhelmed by the pressures of city life, and since this isn't Boston, I can actually stroll though a residential park at 10 PM by myself and not worry about someone coming to mug me.
One particularly nice attraction on my walk home is a short stretch of land (I would estimate it accounts for only a half mile of land) of planting space (a small scale farm, you could call it). Right now it is full of baby vines that are scheduled to grow up along rows of criss-crossed plastic that have been stuck into the ground. It's truly a neat planting idea, and it makes me wonder how long this land has been devoted to growing local vegetables, as it's located smack in the middle of some really high end condos (that probably cost a lifetime of earnings). I'll have to take some pictures during the day so you can see some of the unique planting techniques I've seen practiced here in Japan. (When I was a high school student in New Hampshire I used to work at an organic farm stand with greenhouses, etc). It's hard for me sometimes because the stretch of farm actually smells a bit like New Hampshire so although it makes me happy and takes me out of the city for a bit, it also tends to make me a bit homesick.
I've been back in Japan for five months now, and keep hoping that I'm nearing that point where you stop having bouts of homesickness. Everyone I talk to has had far different experiences regarding that, particularly students at Temple. Most of the students in my Graduate Program have been in Japan for more than ten years (which is something I find is common in a lot of people I meet lately, and a lot of blogs I read here in Japan too). A co-worker at my school even said to me last week, "Stay in Japan for 3 years and you may still decide to leave - stay in Japan any longer than that and you probably aren't going anywhere anytime soon." I find it interesting because my graduate program sets me up to be here for about two to three years, but I have honestly considered what living here for many years would be like simply because I can't justify going back to the United States under the current conditions of my life. Living in Japan has brought me a stable career that rewards my degree and hard work, stable pay (which is higher than it would be in the same job in the States, even when cost of living is taken into account), health insurance, dental insurance, a clean apartment and the ability to start paying down my student loan debt (something I thought wouldn't happen until much later in my life). If I go back to the US there is no guarantee I will find work, I never had health insurance in the US (and certainly not dental) and it's, well, not as safe in US cities as it is in Tokyo (this isn't a huge reason on my list but it's up there and probably worth mentioning). And yes, living in Japan (particularly Tokyo) can be stressful as my job is sometimes a lot of hard work and I'm balancing the concerns of an international work environment full time with going to graduate school part time. It's a lot of work but I do actually enjoy it for the most part, even when it tends to be stressful.
What makes me homesick from time to time is missing my friends and family, but I try to use skype (internet web-cam chat that's free. Hooray free!) on a semi regular basis. We've already met tons of wonderful people here through school and work and were it not for our current financial struggles (we're still trying to fix all the damage we saw inflicted upon our credit/student loans in the US before we left for Japan) then we'd probably be out hanging out with them a lot more. Furthermore, I have a friend whom I've known since high school that also happens to be teaching English out here in Japan, but he's about an hour and a half away. As soon as I have some money I need to get out to see him! You may have read his blogs in my links list, check it out if you haven't - "A Wave of the Hand."
Right now, though, we've been stuck inside the apartment a lot and saving money. It's definitely a lesson in buckling down but since there are things like beautiful parks, temples and walking paths around us it makes it much easier to get out of the apartment and take a walk to get away from it all. I find for myself, especially, that if I don't take a walk outside at least once every two days I get some serious space/claustrophobia issues because we recently moved to a One Room Type Apartment - that is 7 Tatami (about 10 meters) with the kitchen touching the entryway, the bathroom hidden next to our meager closet, and our bed pressed up against our two windows. Floor space is, well, small but manageable. I'm not complaining, mind you, as we save a lot of money by living the efficient lifestyle and we chose this space to help us figure out where and how we want to live in Japan after we get settled into our jobs and school. I just can't wait until we can afford to move because it will feel a lot more like home when we can have some kind of low table to eat on rather than TV trays carefully balanced over our bed.
PHEW! Well, that was quite the rant. Sorry if it went on too long! Thanks for sticking through it!
Signing out for now,
Lady Jones
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